One
day I was in a church service in the presence
of some people who were being recognized for the
call of God on their life. I listened as the good
things they had done and the marvelous examples
of their faithfulness were told. I was immediately
impressed by their testimony but then found myself
looking in a mirror that reflected a very bad
image of someone who had done so many wrong things
that I wondered if they could ever be made up
for. Although I had for some time been pressing
with all my might in a direction I believed would
bring recovery to myself and my children, I was
reminded of my failures and the image in the mirror
was me. It was not that I thought God had not
forgiven me or that my debts had not been paid,
but I wanted more. I wanted to represent God and
his Kingdom, speaking for him and being known
by Him. It was not until that moment that I was
faced with the reality of who I had been and what
I had done. I said, "Oh God, what could I
ever do for You? Is there any place in Your kingdom
for a girl like me?"
I
know now I was talking to myself, therefore, not
surprised that I did not hear an immediate answer.
I did not dwell on this because it was so sobering.
Within a few months I enrolled in college after
overcoming some obstacles that had previously prevented
me from doing so. I had begun to learn overcoming
obstacles is not a quick or easy process and sometimes
there is a continued fight to hold onto the new
ground you have taken. After teaching an exercise
class one day I went walking on a track because
the heaviness of the day. On this day, however,
I felt I needed to run not walk. I have been an
athlete most of my life and a nationally certified
exercise instructor, but I hated running. It seemed
endless and hard but I decided I had to at least
run a mile. As I began to run around the track I
began to think, "What if the journey you call
your life is long and hard with hills and valleys
that you could compare to running 10 miles, and
your whole life you are training for a mile? How
are you going to make it?"
I was surprised at this intervening thought and
responded to this question with the following resolve:
I will learn to run 10 miles as a sign or a prophetic
gesture that no matter what it took, no matter how
long or how hard I wanted to be ready. I would train
for the most so that anything less I would be ready
for. I began to run, increasing in distance until
I could run 10 miles, then 15, then 20 and finally
25. I realized the way you prepare and train in
your life for anything was a direct result of the
vision you had. There is a huge disparity in training
between a weekend athlete and an Olympic athlete.
I entered a 5K race with my running partner and
came face to face with feelings of failure and of
feeling I could not make it. The same road and the
same trails we had run hundreds of miles on when
the performance did not matter (although I always
gave it my all) now held such fear and trepidation
for me I cried on some days when I was timing myself
and wanted to turn the timer off because I was so
afraid of not making it. I had always considered
myself to be a person with tenacity but this experience
helped me understand much of my drive in life and
my dedication to excellence in work had been in
an effort to escape the fear of failing, of falling
short and of not being good enough.
After placing in my age group in the first race and no longer so moved by fear, I entered another race so I could do it with faith and not fear. As I ran I thanked God for helping me which caused my heart to swell with great faith and much hope. Approximately half way through the race I heard, "What I couldn't do with a girl like you!" I could never put in words the humbleness I felt that day. Not only was what I heard not a question (as it had been when I said it), but the realization that God was listening to me and had heard me more than a year earlier when I was pondering the questions of my own heart. I believe Yahweh led me to this place; a place arrived at by learning and applying principles of persevering. Persevering developed character in me which led to winning and not losing, and a place where life with success and not marked by failure was not only plausible, it was possible. I felt a life of purpose was the hope arrived at by the process of tribulation, perseverance, character and hope spoken about in Romans 5. In the end I believed it would be as Janelle Robinson wrote in a song, “My latter days will be better than my beginning. All that was lost, all that was stolen, even what I gave away…lost years, come back; stolen days, you must return. Yahweh has come looking for all that is His, to establish His Kingdom on earth.”
At
16 years old I was pregnant teenager from rural
Iowa who inwardly felt my life was over by the time
I was 18. I wandered through many years with my
son in tow without purpose, with few resources and
with little direction until I accepted Christ as
my Savior in Fort Plain, New York and ended up at
The Rock of Panama City in Florida under the guidance
of Apostle F. Nolan Ball. It will be impossible
for anyone to convince me they are not the source
of their manifestations. It is not what happened
to you that defines you or where you are…it
is the sum of all the decisions you have made to
date in response to those situations. I am
one who has seen and faced many “hard starts”
in life and have seen assaults against my parents
and grandparents in their childhoods that should
have made winning in our family impossible.
After coming to a place of salvation I was very
ready to fight against the evils I had allowed to
have access in my life by the decisions I had made.
However, I came to understand there is a way of
overcoming evil, and it is to do right. It is the
goodness of Yahweh that draws men unto salvation.
This, I would have to learn and it would be a long
process with many heartaches. But God!
God
has chosen the foolish things of the world to put
to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things
of the world to put to shame the things which are
mighty; and the base things of the world and the
things which are despised God has chosen, and the
things which are not, to bring to nothing the things
that are” (1 Corinthians 1:27-28)
I
have continued to run not only 5K races, but 10Ks,
half marathons and the Blue Angel Marathon in Pensacola,
Florida. I have learned many things through my running
that have helped paralleled principles necessary
in overcoming obstacles and winning in life. I also
know that there is a race after the race. The path
I began shortly after my wondering what God could
do with "a girl like me" has been filled
with purpose and great change. The changes have
come as things have been revealed in me. When I
faced them I could change them with help from God's
word. If you have things in your life that have
caused you to wonder what God could do with someone
like you, I have good news; it is the good news
of the Kingdom.
What
God cannot do with someone like you will be found
within you, and the decisions you make from these
places toward the situations you find yourself in
will limit what God can do. There is a process spelled
out in the Bible that can reveal the lines you have
drawn and the limits you have set. This process
will reveal you. It will show you what you are made
of and determine just where you have put your trust.
Your response in life to every situation is a product
of your character. It is said that a man’s
character determines his fate. If you respond right
to the wrong, you will be blessed and you can overcome
evil with good which will make you the “head
and not the tail” and you will be “at
the top and never the bottom” (Deuteronomy
28:13). This is living life The Winning Way.
Olympic champion Jesse
Owens said, “One chance is all you need.”
I exhort you to be prepared, “in season and
out of season . . . convince, rebuke, exhort with
all longsuffering” so when your opportunity
comes through your steadfast pursuit, you will be
ready, set in position, then go! (2 Timothy 4:2).
THE PROCESS: “Tribulation produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope”
(Romans 5:3-4)
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